How a Pre-Marital Counsellor can help you?

Either you are having love marriage or an arranged marriage, it’s important to know each other very well before the marriage as adjustments are required when two individuals get married. So, it’s necessary to discuss and solve all the triggers and causes of the post marital problems before marriage so to have a smooth transition to a married life.

So, the question arises what exactly is done in a pre-marital counselling and how does it help? So, today I am going to explain all of this to you through this blog.

What is Pre-Marital Counselling?

Marriage is a legal institution in which two individuals enter in a contractual relationship to be recognized as husband and wife.

Pre-Marital Counselling is a type of therapy provided by Marriage and Family Therapists/Counsellors to help the individuals who are about to get married. It’s not necessary that people should have some problem in their relationship and then seek pre-marital counselling. Even if they want to discuss some important matters beforehand and then decide to enter into the married life, then, also pre-marital counselling comes to the rescue.

Pre-Marital Counsellor can help the individuals understand their expectations and address any differences that can cause conflicts later on.

Pre-Marital Counselling is:

• Short-term
• Conscious
• Focuses on important issues
• Involves Interpersonal, Emotional and Behavioural Approach

Topics to be addressed in Pre-Marital Counselling

Pre-Marital Counsellor can help you discuss topics that you might not have thought of but are necessary as they can lead to conflicts in married life later on.
Here are some things that you can discuss during the pre-marital counselling session:

1. Money

In today’s time, when both men and women are working and earning money, so, the questions which can be asked and discussed are:

• will you tell each other about your earnings and savings,
• how will you two invest,
• how the expenses will be taken care of and by whom: will it be 50-50, or men will contribute more than women or vice versa.
• Discuss bills, taxes and debts

The most important thing is talking about the salary differences and how they feel about it. As two individuals will live in the same household, they should be mutual and aligned on the topic of money.

2. Expectations

Dissimilar expectations often can lead to poor marital relations. As both the individuals have grown up in a different environment, they both possess different temperaments and personality characteristics which can be one of the triggers of conflicts in marriage. To avoid that, Pre-marital Counsellor teaches how to set realistic expectations from one another in marriage by keeping in mind the personality traits of the other person and also how to work to fulfil them. Expectations could be related to:

• sharing responsibility at home,
• respecting each other’s personal boundaries,
• helping each other’s career growth,
• making time for each other, and
• open communication and trusting each other
• time given to hobby, family and friends
• Religion
• Personality characteristics

3. Intimacy

In country like India, where sex education is not given properly, sex and intimacy becomes a topic which should be addressed before marriage. Sometimes, couples get nervous while discussing this topic so, under the assistance of a pre-marital counsellor, it becomes a smooth process. Pre-Marital Counsellor guides the two individuals to discuss and explore their sexual needs and desires which will lead to a happy sex life.

Some questions that can be asked and discussed in the session are:

• What excites you about being together?
• When do you feel most intimated and close to your partner?
• Are you comfortable discussing sexual needs and likes?
• Are you satisfied with the frequency of love making?

4. Family Planning/ Children

The social objective of the marriage is to extend one’s family by having children. Thus, eventually family planning becomes an important matter that should be discussed and agreed upon. This topic involves many questions like:

• the time when one wants to have children: if yes, then how many children one would like to have
• the parenting styles,
• will the wife stay at home and leave job,
• when the wife will go back to her job and
• involvement of extended family

Sometimes, people don’t even want children, so, that topic also should be discussed before giving the commitment of marriage. Discuss freely child-rearing styles and disciplinary measures that will be used in future.

5. Communication

Living together can lead to conflict initially and throughout the life together. Individuals should be trained how to handle arguments and fights if it occurs post marriage. They need to understand each other’s communication ways and find a common way where both have a direct and open communication channel.

Pre-marital counsellor teaches them all coping styles, kind words, how to express one’s feelings and anger management. They can learn to recognize and manage points of conflicts and ineffective communication early.

6. Living Arrangement

Pre-Marital Counsellor guides the two individuals to discuss and plan their everyday life together. Will you prefer nuclear, extended or joint family? How you want to create a suitable and healthy lifestyle along with work life? How will the decision making and problem solving will happen in the house?

Benefits of Pre-Marital Counselling

• Create mutual goals and resolutions for marriage
• Discuss marriage anxiety
• Learn conflict resolution skills
• Getting realistic expectations
• Overcoming potential conflicts
• Avoiding toxicity
• Helps plan the future
• Discover new things

Pre-marital Counselling at OnlineCounselling4U

If you think that you need to discuss important matters mentioned above with your future partner before marriage, we are available to help you. The team of OnlineCounselling4U is full of experts who are knowledgeable and helpful. You can get the services of pre-marital counselling at your convenience. You can seek help from certified professionals in a counselling session where every information that you provide will be confidential. You can book your appointment very easily from the website.

Call us to book a session today.

Contact us at +91 9811335150

Email us – info@onlinecounselling4u.com

Follow us on Facebook or Instagram