20 Steps to Balance Your Relationship with In-Laws

Simple Steps to Follow in The Initial Years of Marriage

If you are reading this, then it means, that you are getting married and worried about managing your relationship with in-laws. Or, you are already married and struggling to build a good rapport with your in-laws. This is a very common situation all women go through. The initial rush of getting married, new relationships, and the mental burden of balancing your love life along with in-laws, send chills across the spine for many. All women go through these stressful moments. But as you grow, you learn to navigate through them and the relationships get stronger day by day. But this is possible if you avoid certain mistakes.

Balancing your relationship with your in-laws in the early years of marriage is a daunting task indeed. However, it is crucial to create harmonious relationships and a healthy atmosphere within the family. It is essential to establish a good rapport and respectful relationship with your in-laws.

20 simple steps that will help you navigate the relationship with in-laws

1. Open and honest communication

This is one of the fundamental pillars of any relationship, whether it is with the spouse, in-laws, or extended family. Effective communication, being open and honest while conversating with the family, about your expectations, limitations, limits, and boundaries is imperative. But this needs to be done skillfully and subtly. The choice of words and the way you present your opinions, needs, and requirements matter a lot. A small mistake can make matters worse for you.

2. Understanding their perspective

This is the key aspect of building a rapport with your in-laws. Try to understand their perspective before you hurriedly project yours. Try to empathize with them. This will eliminate the chances of misunderstandings, and build stronger bonds. Listen to their opinions, without being judgmental. Their experience matters a lot.

3. Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is quintessential for a healthy relationship. This helps eliminate the chances of unnecessary intrusion from the in-law’s end. But remember, this too requires a knack as a small mistake can put you in the negative bracket. So, you have to set boundaries, without being rude, whether it is about your personal space, parenting styles, your professional life, and other matters.

4. Prioritize your spouse

Women are sometimes too obsessed with building a good relationship with in-laws, and the spouse gets neglected. This will take a toll on your personal life. Hence, make sure to prioritize your spouse always, whatever the odds may be. Make sure to prioritize each other, your needs, feelings, and emotions. This will help both of you to stay together in hard times too.

5. Spend quality time

It is not about quantity, but always quality. It takes time to understand people around you. Especially at the in-law’s place. Take time, and be patient as you try to understand your set of in-laws. Spend some quality time with them. Plan for some outings, and activities with them. Try to get involved in the activities organized by them. Try to build a personal connection, as this will ease the tension and foster better understanding. Don’t worry, look upon them just as another set of parents of yours.

6. Seek advice when necessary

Your in-laws have a vast experience of life, hence their piece of advice on certain matters can be valuable. If they have a strong marriage, then their tips on resolving certain marital issues will help you go a long way. Whether your personal life or just any issue that you cannot resolve, don’t hesitate to seek their advice and guidance. After all, experience matters a lot.

7. Show respect and appreciation

Demonstrating respect and gratitude towards the elderly will help your position in the family positively. Moreover, this will help generate stronger bonds. Do not hesitate to say thank you, sorry, please, and express your positive feelings towards them with small gestures.

8. Be patient it works

It is the moolah of any relationship. Especially in the early years of marriage people on the in-law’s side will be critically evaluative and judgmental towards you. At the same time, you too might be judgmental towards them. It takes time for relationships to develop and grow. Hence be patient and resilient. This works. Don’t be in a haste to prove yourself, prove your point, or impress them. It’s a gradual process. Don’t get disheartened by challenges in the initial days. Things will improve over some time.

9. Address issues early and mindfully

If you encounter issues with your in-laws, don’t worry. Just be patient and do a kind of self-introspection, just to check where did you go wrong. Then talk to your spouse and in-laws patiently and in the most graceful manner regarding the issue. Some issues need to be sorted out immediately, whereas some issues take time to get sorted. Be mindful of the words while addressing the issue.

10. Seek professional help if need

Despite persistent efforts, things might get worse with the in-laws at times. Taking the help of a marriage counselor or a family counselor while dealing with sensitive issues where in-laws are involved will be of great help. Their guidance and proven strategies will help you to deal with tricky situations, thus assuring a good relationship with the in-laws.

11. Embrace cultural differences

Marriage is about two people and two different families coming together from different backgrounds and making a bond. Hence, embrace and respect these differences and try to learn from them. Understanding the traditions and cultures of the in-laws’ side will help you to build a stronger connection with them.

12. Plan family meetings

A family get-together over brunch, or a high tea, lunch, or dinner would be a great way to connect and spend some fun time. This will be helpful to understand people and know them in a better way.

13. Avoid triangulation

Triangulation is when the dialogue between you and your in-laws is channeled through your spouse. This isn’t a healthy practice. Address the concerns directly with the people involved. This will help to maintain healthy family dynamics.

14. Celebrate special occasions together

Make special moments special by celebrating them with your in-laws. occasions like, festivals, birthdays, and anniversaries are a wonderful way to celebrate together. This encourages positive vibes between you and the in-laws. This fosters a sense of togetherness.

15. Stay neutral in conflicting situations

In conflicting situations, where you, your spouse, and in-laws are involved try to take a neutral stand. Rather support both the parties and try to arrive at a resolution through navigating a middle way and effective communication.

16. Develop individual relationships

Always build individual relationships with your in-laws. Do not involve your parents or spouse in bridging the communication gap. Do not show any sort of favoritism towards any set of parents, whether your parents or in-laws. Give equal importance and value to both sets.

17. Adapt to changing roles

A woman’s role keeps changing throughout her lifetime. Be open to these changing roles, and adapt yourself to them. Changing roles brings new experiences, expectations, and responsibilities. Enjoy your multiple roles.

18. Be mindful of criticism

It is common for in-laws to offer advice and be a little critically evaluative in the initial days. This might continue in the later years too, but not for a lifetime. This might be quite annoying at times, and frustrating too. Learn to let go of things, or politely address the concerns without getting defensive. Take the necessary steps, mindfully as per the situation.

19. Find common ground

finding common ground based on shared interests, and hobbies is a wonderful way to bond. This fosters various opportunities to connect with them despite their difference and promotes harmony in the relationship.

20. Practice self-care and stress management

Dealing with in-laws, and balancing both sets of parents, while giving attention to the spouse and children can be very taxing. Practice self-care by taking short breaks from work. Learn stress management techniques, prioritize your health, and maintain a healthy perspective of life.

Final word

Balancing the relationship with in-laws, and immediate family members, while adjusting to the newly married life requires a lot of effort. Though receiving understanding and empathy is a two-way thing, still try to be emotionally, mentally, and physically independent. This will help you to deal with criticism with a pinch of salt and navigate through bitter-sweet situations in a better way. Always remember families are different and so are the family dynamics. What works for one might not work for your situation. Hence maintain a strong bond with your spouse so that he is available for you in your hard times.

As time passes these relationships become your source of inspiration, strength, and support as acceptance comes with time and relationships grow stronger with time and tide. The key is to be flexible, patient, and adaptable to various situations. Your commitment towards your life partner and open and effective communication are the backbone of a successful journey as you build strong connections with your in-laws. Ultimately all the efforts you put into building a harmonious relationship will bear fruits one day. Tus enriching your married life and continuing towards a fulfilled family experience.

Get help at OnlineCounselling4U

You can always reach out to our marriage and family experts who are adept in their art to get the best guidance. Our experienced counselors will offer you the best Counselling and guidance on handling tricky situations and building stronger bonds as you navigate through the initial days of your marriage. After all, we are family!!

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