A couple was married past 5 years. They had a young child. Their SEX LIFE was good in the initial days. But after the childbirth, it was not that good and regular. The husband looked frustrated and irritated all the time and they both felt the sheen in their marriage is lost. Similarly, another couple who got married recently was hardly 3 months into their marriage and their SEX LIFE was on ROCKS. Another couple who was married past 15 years, had a teenaged son, was facing SEXUAL DISSATISFACTION with each other and was on the verge of divorcing as they felt their marriage is on rocks.
In all the above cases, one thing is in common – that is – SEX and its related issues. Well, we all know and accept that SEX or say LOVE MAKING is an integral and important part of married life. It strengthens the BONDING between the COUPLES.
But the irony is that in a country where SEX is celebrated and worshipped in various forms, the country where KAMASUTRA took birth, speaking about SEX is considered as a TABOO!!
In today’s MODERN LIVING, where the COUPLES have to work day and night WORK STRESS, PEER PRESSURE, CORPORATE PRESSURE, STRESS, ANXIETY, and other related HEALTH ISSUES adversely affect the SEX DRIVE of both MEN AND WOMEN. Hence, when SEXUAL LIFE gets affected, DISSATISFACTION, LONELINESS, AND DEPRESSION creep in, thus putting the MARRIAGE ON ROCKS.
An addition to the family, like CHILDBIRTH, takes a toll on WOMEN’S HEALTH. She undergoes a lot of HORMONAL CHANGES, PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES, and AND PSYCHOLOGICAL CHANGES. This too brings down the SEX DRIVE IN A WOMAN. This is a time of testing, for both men and women, as a woman is involved in the upbringing of the newborn, and the husband feels completely neglected.
SOME MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT SEX
SEX in general is considered as an act of a MAN. Hence a MAN is expected to make the FIRST MOVE. A SATISFIED SEXUAL APPETITE is a symbol of MACHOISM. This is a MYTH.
A HEALTHY SEX is an act where both the MAN and the WOMAN are involved is every aspect of it, MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY. This is FACT.
Having SEX Everyday or 3 times a week is considered as a HEALTHY SEXUAL LIFE. This is a MYTH to certain extent.
Too much of SEX makes it a MONOTONOUS ACT. This again makes the SEX LIFE BORING. Hence, having SEX, when the COUPLE feels desperate to have it gives them the HIGH in the sexual activity. At times a gap of few days between sexual activities is much rewarding. This is the FACT.
There are many reasons behind PROBLEMS IN SEXUAL LIFE:
- STRESS AND ANXIETY
STRESS AND ANXIETY of any type, whether it is related to work, relationships, domestic issues, or someone’s health, adversely affects the sex drive in both.
- HEALTH ISSUES
Diabetes, hypertension, thyroid, other hormonal issues, any specific medication, and other health issues which are left unattended affect the SEXUAL LIFE.
- ADDICTIONS AND DISTRACTIONS
Any kind of addictions, like drugs, cigarettes, alcohol affects the libido and performance in both men and women. Having a preoccupied mind all the time blocks a person to be in the present state and enjoy the moment. Any kind of DISTRACTIONS like phone, continuous negative thoughts, carrying negative baggage of past fights, etc. affect the SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP.
- BOREDOM OR MOOD SWINGS
Monotony is the root cause of boredom. Hence the couples have to come up with innovative ideas to keep the ball rolling. Mood swings are another thing that affects sex life. Mood swings alter the libidos hence having an active SEX LIFE becomes difficult.
- PAIN DURING SEX
Experiencing pain during sex is not normal. This calls for immediate medical intervention. Due to POST MENOPAUSE issues in women and other issues in men, both experience pain during sex. This is to be addressed at the earliest by a SEXOLOGIST.
- ORGASM – AN ILLUSION
Many couples focus on ORGASM. But as per research, more than 80 % of partners do not attain ORGASM in their active SEXUAL LIFE.
Hence one should not hurry up to get into the final act. Rather enjoying FOREPLAY for a longer duration is suggestible. Once both the partners are TURNED ON, then the final act will give IMMENSE PLEASURE.
Always remember, where the ORGASM of a man ends, there starts the ORGASM of a woman. Hence this act should be done very gently, slowly and without any hurry.
POSITIVE EFFECTS OF SEX
- STRENGTHENING THE BOND
Sex is the ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF LOVE. This act of AROUSAL and ORGASM releases OXYTOCIN which is a LOVE HORMONE. When this is released in abundance one feels good about oneself and this positivity strengthens the bond. One feels connected to the partner emotionally and mentally.
- REDUCES STRESS, ANXIETY, AND DEPRESSION
Any act related to SEX, INTIMACY OR LOVEMAKING reduces STRESS ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION. It also boosts the immune system. One feels loved and thus LONELINESS and DEPRESSION are reduced. FOREPLAY, HUGGING AND KISSING releases some FEEL GOOD HORMONES. This lowers the levels of STRESS, and ANXIETY.
- RELIEF FROM MENSTRUAL CRAMPS
Relief from MENSTRUAL CRAMPS and some types of PROSTATE CANCERS can be kept at bay.
SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEMS
In the act of LOVEMAKING – LOVE should not be missed. The fire should always be kept alive. The CHEMISTRY between YIN and YANG should always be active to keep the SEX LIFE ACTIVE and working. For a good SEX LIFE empathy between the couples is a must. Due to lack of which one cannot get involved with each other emotionally. The baggage of negative emotions, past fights, is the major killer of LOVE. Hence, just be in the present moment and BASK IN THE MELTING MOMENTS OF LOVE.
One should seek the help of a SEX Counselor and take SEX COUNSELING when things look out of control. Sex Counseling has found to be very effective.
As per a FAMOUS SEXOLOGIST, “A MAN hangs his SELF ESTEEM on his penis”. And when a woman declines him from SEX, or denies his offer, his EGO is hurt and then problems crop up in the SEXUAL LIFE. Hence the TRICKY TIP for WOMEN is to pamper this EGO!! This works like a MAGIC and the SEXUAL LIFE is BACK ON THE TRACK!!
Apart from this,
Talking about the problems to a THERAPIST, COUNSELOR, or a SEXOLOGIST can help one overcome many issues. Talking to ONLINE COUNSELORS helps one to deal with these issues. Here utmost anonymity is maintained.
When you fall short of a good friend or looking to get support, then, try to take the help of an online counselor. Online counselors are trained professionals who help people to get over their deepest fears. They come up with strategies and suggestions to deal with situations.
Contact ONLINECOUNSELING4U TODAY if you or any of your loved one is going through this phase.