“She married the prince of her choice and lived happily ever after”!! Generally this is what we read in many fantasy stories. But in reality this is not the case in many stories. Yes!! The once bride, the once-beloved wife is beaten up, bullied, demeaned, humiliated, assaulted financially, verbally, physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually not only by the husband but also by the other family members too!! This kind of abuse is “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE”!!
India ranks the top in “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” cases. This is truly a very sad state, in a country where the institution of marriage is held in very high regards where every marriage ritual has a deeper meaning, and many other festivals are celebrated only for a BLISSFUL MARRIED LIFE!!
The main reason, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE goes unnoticed because, it happens between married couples (and hence, thought to be socially acceptable which is wrong), it occurs within the four walls and no other person/ outsider is the witness for this, the financial, physical, emotional dependency of a woman on her husband or say the perpetrator, fear of social stigma, fear of breaking the family, children and lack of knowledge about “DOMESTIC ABUSE” and ones’ rights.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is prevalent all over the world but it is more prevalent in India. One in every three women experiences domestic violence.
Types of Domestic Violence
- VERBAL ABUSE
- PHYSICAL ABUSE
- FINANCIAL ABUSE
- SEXUAL ABUSE
- MENTAL/ EMOTIONAL ABUSE
How to self help to deal with Domestic Violence?
- Talk to a close family member of the abuser or any of your family member who can help you
- Arrange for counseling session within the family with some senior members
- Try to be independent both physically and financially.
- Never be depressed and think low of yourself and try to stand for your self
- Arrange for some help externally in case of emergency
- Learn self-defense techniques to defend yourself when you are being hit/ battered by the perpetrator
- Start shouting out loudly and try to gather masses who will help you and stop the person from further harming you
- Dial 100 without being noticed by the attacker. Or at least train your children to dial the emergency number 100 or any woman helpline numbers in case of emergency. Always have emergency numbers and contacts of important people who can help you, handy on your phone
- Being financially independent is the first and foremost thing one should do. As being financially dependent takes away ones confidence to deal with the hardships of life
- Talk to your parents elaborately on this
- Talk to a lawyer beforehand and gather all the knowledge about domestic violence
The Protection of Women From Domestic Violence Act 2005, States That Any Activity That Falls Under the Offences Stated Under the Act is a Non Bailable Offence
If you plan to leave the house:
Always pre-plan your activity before making any move. If you have decided to leave the house, then pre-pack all the necessary documents related to you, marriage certificate (photocopies too) bank documents and ATM card belonging to you, jewelry belonging to you, all your educational and other qualification certificates, Adhaar card ( if it is in India), PAN card etc. Also keep some amount handy. Pack a few necessary items and eatables if taking kids along with you. Pack a few clothes, inform your parents or anyone who can come to help you at this time.
Always take public transport for traveling like buses, trains and airlines. For commuting, if you are using autos or cabs, please share the details and track the route with the important people who are ready to help you in this time of crisis. Avoid sharing any details to any strangers even the cab or auto-rickshaws people. Do not take any advice from anyone. Your strong instinct and gut feeling will take to a safer place. Be vigilant if it is night time. Preferably take shelter at very close friends’ or a very close relatives’ place to avoid any unforeseen dangers.
Be prepared for the “D” Day
Once you know you are a victim of domestic violence, start analyzing your situation and try to fight it bravely. Start collecting proofs of violence like voice or video recording of abuses, make a collection of your chat history in messages, or WhatsApp store it safely in your Google Drive or Gmail. Ask the people with whom you are sharing this information to do the same. All these evidences will work in favor of you if you have to knock the doors of court someday.
There are many NGOs who are working towards the rescue and rehabilitation of domestic violence victims. Try to get their contact numbers by GOOGLING them and contact them. Dial 100 in case of an emergency.
Never commit suicide or take any extreme steps to demolish yourself. Your life is precious for you, your family, and your children and your loved ones.
Take the help for Online Counseling
When you fall short of a good friend or a shoulder to get support for, and then try to take the help of an online counselor/ therapist. Online counselors are trained and certified professionals who help people to get over their deepest fears. They come up with strategies and suggestions to deal with situations.
They help you in analyzing what is wrong in your relationship. Sometimes it is just exaggerated stress and anxiety in either of the partners. Sometimes there is some hidden personality disorder, anger management issues, or something that needs to be taken care of.
Contact ONLINECOUNSELING4U TODAY if you or any of your loved one is going through this tough phase of domestic violence.