“And they lived happily ever after”, this might not be the case in some marriages, unfortunately. Yes, some marriages just don’t work and end up in a DIVORCE. Divorce is the most emotionally excruciating experience. It feels very sad to see marriages that are said to be made in heaven end up on a bitter note – DIVORCE.
As per statistics, there is a steep rise in divorce cases in the past few years. Divorce is emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially draining thing. Divorce is one of the main reasons for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression in many people. But every person has his/ her different coping mechanism.
The setback in life that Divorce brings in along with itself is common for both men and women. But women are adversely affected, mostly as a divorced woman is not accepted by her maiden family many times and looked down upon by many. Though the social scene is changing over a while, getting over a divorce is the biggest challenge.
However, here are some tools to get over Divorce:
1. Have A Prenuptial Agreement
This kind of agreement is nowadays picking up pace due to the instability of relationships in society. This is an agreement generally made before or at the time of marriage. This includes certain points where both the families, bride, and the groom agree to certain conditions if the relationship doesn’t work. Like,
- Amount of alimony to be given to the wife in case of Divorce
- Custody of children (if any at the time of Divorce)
- Sharing the responsibility of children and their upbringing
- Share in the property of husband by wife
- Sharing the expenditure or taking responsibility for the wife’s expenditure if she is not earning, etc.
Many other points are discussed commonly by both the bride and the groom, and then the agreement is drafted.
2. Find a job for yourself
This is the most important thing to stand on one’s feet. So many women give up their education and career for the sake of their families after marriage. But when Divorce strikes, they are affected immensely as the question of survival arises from the very next moment. Hence find a job to support yourself and your children ( if any) and save money for a rainy day.
3. Keep yourself busy
Keeping oneself busy with some productive work will keep loneliness and negative thoughts at bay. If a woman is staying at her maiden home, then taking part in the daily chores of the household will not make her feel she is a burden to her family. Moreover, this way, she can keep herself busy. Divorce leaves a person with low self-work and low self-esteem. Hence keeping oneself busy will help in keeping all these thoughts at bay.
4. Talking to family and friends
Discussing things and talking openly about one’s feelings to family and friends helps a person get emotional support. This makes one feel a part of their human pack, and hence loneliness can be dealt with easily. A divorced person tries to disconnect oneself from the outside world. Ad this worsens the situation. Hence talking to friends and family is always a better idea.
5. Practice mindfulness (meditation)
Practicing mindfulness or meditation helps to maintain mental cool during these trying times. In addition, it helps in achieving emotional stability.
6. Keep learning
Most girls are married off even before they could finish their graduation. But Divorce forces them to survive on their own. It’s never too late to learn something new. Hence, taking up learning courses that will help in getting a job is a great idea. Finishing the education left halfway due to marriage helps in fetching jobs and adds to one’s higher esteem. Learning keeps the mind active. This releases certain hormones that help one deal with the Stress, Anxiety, and Depression that arise from Divorce.
7. Accept the fact and move ahead
Its difficult to accept Divorce as a person invests all his time and emotions in that relationship. Failure of such a relationship bring is despair. But to get over this, acceptance is the key. One has to accept the fact that its over and move ahead in life.
8. Invest in a new relationship
Divorce brings trust issues in a person. Fear of Rejection and Abandonment stops a person from looking for a newly committed relationship. Family and societal pressures also stop from looking at new relationships. However, a new relationship brings a new ray of hope and adds a new meaning to life. It’s never too late to fall in love. Hence feel free and look at life from a new angle.
9. Talking to a Counselor
Talking to someone about one’s deepest fears is a good thing. A Counselor helps a person in getting over the Grief of Divorce. A Counselor helps a person talk openly about his or her feelings and what they are going through. This is called Talk Therapy. Talking shifts the gears of Stress to someone else. This takes off the pressure from the mind. Counsellor brings about certain strategies to deal with the issues. A counsellor is non-judgemental in the approach and offers the best possible solutions to the problem.
Divorce is baggage of a past relationship that a person tends to carry with himself/herself throughout life. Hence Counselling is of utmost importance for a person going through the Divorce phase. But visiting a Counselor might not be possible every time. So here comes OnlineCounseling4U for help.
OnlineCounseling4U is an online platform where world-class professionals and mental health experts offer counselling. OnlineCounseling4U is a team of expert Psychologists who offer counselling services through audio calls, video calls, chat, and mail sessions. Now avail of these services while you are in the comforts of your home.
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