Falling in love with someone is easy. Getting into a relationship is also comparatively easy. However, maintaining a happy relationship becomes a challenge for many people. Problems in a relationship arise due to many reasons. And one of the major reasons is mistrust. Another common reason that causes relationship problems is insecurities.
When these things seep into a relationship, a lot of misunderstandings occur between two people. They end up having fights and arguments frequently. This puts a lot of strain in a relationship. It ultimately causes mental health issues in both the partners.
So, it is important that a couple addresses all the issues they might have in a relationship the moment these problems begin to arise. This way, they are able to give their relationship a chance to thrive.
Mistrust in a Relationship
Trust doesn’t come easy. In some cases, it might take years for a person to start trusting another. But, it takes only a second for that trust to get shattered. So, many people in a relationship find it hard to trust their partner.
Are you finding it hard to trust your partner without any reason? Or did something happen in the past that is making it harder for you to trust your partner currently? Whatever your answer may be, if you’re still in the relationship, then it means that you want to make it work.
How can you overcome mistrust in a relationship?
In order to strengthen the factor of trust in a relationship, you can follow the advice given below-
- Believe in your partner’s good intentions. Sometimes, people make mistakes. They don’t hurt you intentionally. So, every time a fight occurs, that doesn’t mean that your partner is trying to hurt you. Believe that your partner has only good intentions towards you. Talk with your partner and figure things out together.
- Have open and honest conversations. When two people are in a relationship, issues are bound to arise. Remember that neither you nor your partner is a mind reader. Your trust issues won’t get resolved unless you talk about them to your partner honestly.
- Show your vulnerable side. If there’s no trust in a relationship, it might be hard for a person to show their vulnerable side to their partner. Ironically, this is exactly what one needs to do if they want to solve the trust issues they are facing. Let your partner know what makes you feel hurt, your fears and even your future dreams & goals.
- Learn to be a better listener. Quite often, people listen to respond but not to understand or empathise. If you want to solve the trust issues between you and your partner, then you need to learn how to actually listen. Also, ask your partner questions like, “what do you think about this”, and “how does that make you feel”?
- Acknowledge past painful incidents. Many people develop trust issues in a relationship due to incidents that happened in their previous relationship and caused them pain. So, when you acknowledge this past trauma instead of ignoring it, you also allow yourself to heal and move forward in life.
- Get past an argument. Arguments between two people in a relationship are quite natural. But you should not keep holding grudges against your partner. You need to learn how to calm yourself down, then have a talk with your partner on the topic of your fight. If you keep yelling at each other, further tension will be built instead of the problem getting solved.
- Trust your instinct. Not trusting your partner is one thing. Getting a nagging thought that just refuses to go away is something else entirely. That is your instinct trying to tell you that something might be wrong. When this happens, don’t ignore it. Talk to your partner and clear things out. There’s no point in staying silent and developing trust issues.
Feeling Insecure in a Relationship
Even a self-assured person may end up feeling insecure in a relationship. It may be caused by different reasons such as a lack of trust in your partner or fear for the unknown future. It might even be caused due to a lack of self-confidence.
Whatever reason it may be, you don’t need to keep suffering. There are a few things you can do to remove all insecurities that you might feel towards your relationship and even your partner.
How to stop being insecure in a relationship?
Pay heed to the following suggestions if you want to overcome that feeling of being insecure in a relationship.
- Stop overanalyzing. Insecurity stems from your own thoughts and emotions. One way of keeping them in check is by stopping your thoughts from spiralling out of control. Your partner may not always act according to your liking. That doesn’t mean that your relationship is bad or that he’s cheating on you.
- Act like a new couple. Usually, at the beginning of a new relationship, two people tend to be more loving. They express their feelings more often, talk to each other throughout the day and try to meet as often as they can. But with time, this interest in your partner may decline as you already know him or her well. Don’t let this happen. Try to keep the spark alive. Treat your partner the same way you treated him or her at the start of your relationship.
- Love yourself. A major reason why a person might suffer from insecurities in a relationship is that they lack self-love. Learn to love yourself first. Love the person that you are and love the things you do. Basically, love everything about yourself. Some people might find that a bit hard to do. But self-love is important if you want to move past negative things and give yourself a chance to be happy with your partner.
- Create new memories. If your partner makes a mistake and you’ve decided to forgive him or her and carry on with the relationship, then do it wholeheartedly. Bringing up past mistakes and constantly fighting about it is harmful for the relationship. Instead, make happy memories that you can cherish in the future.
- Communicate properly. In any relationship, communication is the key. And if you feel insecure in the relationship, then talking about your feelings openly becomes even more important. It is also important that you and your partner understand each-other’s communication style. Does your partner not respond when you talk in a certain tone? Does he respond better over phone conversations than text messages?
- Work towards fulfilment. In life, people have many expectations. Some of these expectations are related to their career and finance. Many of these expectations are related to the people in their lives. And when it comes to a partner and a relationship, these expectations become the core. It may not be possible for a person to meet all the expectations of his or her partner. But two people can work together to meet each other’s expectations. That’s how they can achieve fulfilment in a relationship.
How can OnlineCounselling4U help with insecurity and trust issues?
Are you facing insecurity and trust issues in your relationship? Do not worry, the mental health experts at OnlineCounselling4U are here to help you out. Our certified online counselors and therapists provide trust issues counselling. You can speak to one of our psychotherapists and sort out any issue that you and your partner might have. During the online counselling sessions, you can talk in a language that you are comfortable with, from any part of the world.
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