10 ways to build your Self-esteem

Your subjective perception of your total value or worth is known as self-esteem. It describes your degree of self-confidence in your skills and qualities and your ability to manage situations.

A strong sense of self-worth may affect your motivation, mental health, and general quality of life. However, either too high or excessively low self-esteem might cause issues. You can find the perfect balance for yourself by better grasping your degree of self-esteem.

Factors that influence your self-esteem

• Having the required skill set
• Social support and a sense of belongingness
• A strong sense of Identity
• Having a sense of safety (financial etc.)
• Self-awareness

What makes self-esteem so important?

A valuable psychological asset and often a very beneficial influence on life, self-esteem is linked to success, fulfilling relationships, and satisfaction. People who have low self-esteem are more likely to experience depression, underachievement, or put up with harsh relationships and environments.

Signs of low esteem

• You talk negatively about yourself.
• You bend over backwards to please people.
• You believe that your worth is dependent on how much you bring to the table.
• You constantly worry about what people think of you.
• You find yourself asking others if what you are doing is correct.
• You have trouble accepting positive feedback.
• You engage in negative self-talk constantly.
• You are afraid of failing.

What causes low esteem?

• Early childhood experiences: Self-worth perceptions can begin as early as infancy. Disapproval from one’s family might follow them into their adult lives. Constant criticism from parents or other significant adults, such as grandparents, can lay the path to a significant change in a child’s low self-esteem.
• Education system: A terrible educational setting. can contribute to low self-esteem in an adult. A person’s sense of value might get affected by a teacher’s lack of empathy. Inadequate intellectual progress at school can also lead to a lack of confidence in a child. Another factor in kids losing their sense of self-worth is bullying.
• Past relationship issues: Poor treatment, such as being in an abusive relationship, with a spouse, parent, or caregiver often makes a person question his worth.
• Mental and physical problems: Ongoing health issues such as chronic discomfort, a serious condition, or physical impairment. mental illness such as anxiety disorder or depression too often affects a person’s self-esteem.
• Individual differences: Some of us are wired to feel things more strongly. As a result, we might recall or cherish life events that other people might more readily brush aside.

10 ways to build self-esteem

The good news is that you can overcome your negative self-perception to build your self-esteem. However, we do not claim that it would be easy. Besides, everything worthwhile requires work.

1. Manage your negative self-talk: You engage in negative self-talk, it is nothing but a negative voice in your head that constantly disparages you. Your experience has a huge influence on how you talk to yourself, which consequently has an impact on how you deal with a situation. Remember that your brain puts you in a hyper vigilant state when threatened (anxious), so you indulge in what any organism would do – fight, flight or freeze.
2. Expectation Management: Perfection is a myth. The higher the standards you make for yourself, the more you prime yourself to be unhappy. Low self-esteem individuals have the predisposition to hold themselves to an unreasonable standard. Take a break for yourself and do the best you can.
3. Challenge your negative self-perceptions: Push back if you catch yourself reflexively doubting your skills. Is it accurate to say that you are unqualified for the position? What would occur if you nonetheless applied for it? Don’t rule yourself out before you’ve even had a chance to try Ask yourself what is the worse that will happen. Do I have anything to lose?
4. Practice positive self-talk: Positive affirmation should be made a habit. Download your favourite app, on affirmations, from the play/app store and begin practicing now. Rewrite your story and keep in mind all the reasons the criticisms are untrue. You can go a step ahead and look for examples, from your past, wherein you, achieved something that you wanted to. This will help you contradict the negative self-perception.
5. What would you tell your friend: Ask yourself if a friend or your younger sibling had been in a similar situation what advice would you give him/her? (Would you be just as critical?) and then follow the advice that comes to your mind. You will realise that you are generally kinder to others than yourself.
6. Practice self-care: Self-love is the new buzzword, and it is not the same as selfishness. When travelling on a flight, the flight attendant always advises you to put on your oxygen mask first, before helping someone else. In the same way, if you do not take care of yourself first you will not be able to help someone else. It’s called being practical.
   
   At a basic level, here’s how you do it:
   • Eat well
   • Sleep adequately
   • Exercise regularly
7. Acting out of necessity rather than desire: You avoid automatic behaviour patterns that land you in difficulty, keep you mired in the past, and reduce self-love by remaining focused on what you need.
8. Socialise: Having a group of good friends is important. It does not have to be a huge group, but having someone, you can trust is very important to building self-esteem. Introvert or extrovert, you are first a human being. The need to have friends is basic to your biology (and to your survival).
9. Spirituality: Several researches suggest that people who believe in a higher power, generally fare better when facing adversity. Spirituality builds hope that things will turn out fine. The World Health Organisation (WHO) endorses spirituality as an integral part of overall health. Be mindful that being spiritual is not the same as being religious. You may, however, express spirituality, by indulging in religious practices.
10. Consult a counsellor: Rome wasn’t built in a day and giving up years of bad habits also takes time. You might need to get professional assistance. Your triggers for low self-esteem can be identified, understood, and managed with the assistance of a therapist.

According to a 2019 study, students’ quality of life was significantly impacted by their poor self-esteem. Researchers discovered a connection between low self-esteem and suicidal thoughts, anxiety, sadness, and academic stress.

Low self-esteem may cause people to make poor choices regarding how they treat themselves or allow others to treat them. Additionally, people with low esteem, may choose poorly, avoid conflict, or withdraw.

A sense of admiration for oneself emerges from actions that advance our mental, emotional, and spiritual growth. Having high regard for your happiness and well-being is what it means to love yourself. Self-love entails attending to your own needs and refraining from putting your health at risk to please others. Not settling for less than you deserve is a sign of self-love.

How a Counsellors help at OnlineCounselling4U

OnlineCounselling4U is a platform that provides counselling from qualified counsellors at the convenience of your home. Psychologists associated with OnlineCounseling4U offer the best counselling for stress, problem whether it be personal or occupational, from the convenience of your own home. You may choose a qualified psychologist of your liking; One-on-one meetings are provided without jeopardising your privacy. Because the psychologists at OnlineCounseling4U are friendly, non-judgmental individuals, you may speak openly with them without worrying about confidentiality

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