Are Open Marriages Successful?

“The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little ‘extra’ every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live.”
– Fawn Weaver

I met a couple who approached me for help. Both were members of the LGBTQ group and had been married by their parents, who did not know their identities. They lived a false life as a couple socially for their families. They were still in a relationship with their partners. They had a discussion prior to marriage when they told one another about their preferences regarding gender and their identity. According to their agreement, they were engaged in an open marriage.

I came across a different scenario when each of the couples was extremely ambitious and was married against their wishes. The couple then decided to remain together to protect their families and pursue their careers and dreams and without emotional commitments. The couple was in an open wedding where each couple enjoyed their lives as any other bachelor. They are now seeking marriage counselling because they are struggling to manage the open marriage and their own needs and wanted to break up their union. Here is the common clause in The Open Marriage setup. Which began on a good note, and sounded workable but had to end as the couple couldn’t continue with their commitments further.

Before we get into the topic, we have to comprehend,

What exactly is an open marriage?

Open marriage means being open to each other and giving space and the freedom to pursue the personal path. When the spouses have an opportunity to be in relationships with those of the opposite gender or same gender, having multiple romantic partners, they are able to pursue their dreams and aspirations with no emotional obligations.

Are open marriages successful?

It is a question that is frequently asked by gay and lesbian couples seeking the right partner. Actually, open marriages are not successful in as much up to 60% of cases. However, open weddings provide a whole new level of intimacy and also a significant amount of structure.

Open marriages are not successful 60 percent of the time

Research has proven that open marriages are not successful in 60% of cases. However, the degree of the contribution of open marriages to divorce is not recognized. One study showed that open marriages are linked with a higher chance of divorce when compared to monogamous marriages.

Although open marriages can be beneficial to couples who have different levels of sexual preferences they’re often linked to issues that could cause divorce or other issues. For instance, the open-marriage style is prone to create problems since both spouses have trouble managing the complexity of an open-marriage life.

While it is true that open relationships have become a common option for millennials, however, they do have some drawbacks. People who are LGBTQ tend to participate in relationships that are open than their straight counterparts. Additionally, open relationships can result in lower satisfaction and happiness when it comes to traditional marriage setups. In addition, a study conducted recently revealed that women who were in relationships that were open were more likely than men to end an existing relationship.

What can an open marriage provide?

It is a new kind of intimacy

Alongside a new degree of intimacy, marriages that are open permit greater emotional and physical intimacy. The number of extramarital relations can differ, based on the amount of sexual interaction the couple would like. There are those who may be in extramarital relations for the sake of a greater erotic experience or deeper emotional bonds. Open marriages are also focused on extending loving relationships beyond the couple, like polyamory or swinging.

An open marriage- a changing scenario

In a time when the definition of family has drastically changed open marriages have come into existence as a natural result. The rising number of homosexual marriages, open adoptions, single-parent homes as well as gender-based fluidity, have altered families in the old way.

Adhere to the rules of the setup

Open marriages come with specific rules. While open marriages can offer more freedom than traditional marriages, there are crucial rules that open marriages must adhere to. For instance, open marriages permit the couple to have a companion who is not the same gender as well as share parenting responsibility, and also have a private life.

Structured and tailor-made

Open marriages are full of structure and are distinct from monogamous marriages. Since they are highly tailored to the requirements of both partners they may take various types. This is why it is important to know the principles of open marriage and what both parties can anticipate from the relationship.

What are the disadvantages of an open marriage?

• Instability in the relationship
• The constant fear of losing the love of your life or breakup
• Inability to connect emotionally and lack of the support that a monogamous relationship provides
• Insecurity in all aspects of the relationship
• Jealousy
• Not socially acceptable, so one needs to pretend to be part of that set-up under pressure sometimes
• It doesn’t work in the long run.
• It is hard to define limits for one another
• More likely to contract STDs due to the multiple romantic partners
• The non-acceptance from families and society results in a critique

An open wedding allows for Polyamory

The practice of having multiple romantic relationships with the approval of both the persons or the person who is the partner.

Polyamory is more prevalent among LGBTQ & sexual minority groups.

Polyamory is a type of relationship that includes multiple intimate partners, who are aware of one another and have mutual consent for the relationship. The term is usually linked to people belonging to the LGBTQ community, but the concept isn’t limited to the LGBTQ community. Many polyamorous couples are GSD and other minorities in sexuality, though there are some who are not. While the majority of polyamorous people focus on their partners but they must be mindful of their personal needs. Polyamory or an open marriage can be equally destructive when not handled with care and doesn’t seem to work in the long run for sure.

Are Open Marriages Sustainable?

Maintaining a healthy marriage in an open relationship can be difficult to maintain with the passage of time, changing circumstances, children, and other events that get in the way. Making an open relationship work when there are four or more persons rather than just two is a lot more complicated.

Open marriages can begin well and with a substantial increase in satisfaction with sex. After the novelty wears off however they will likely be faced with the same problems in monogamous relationships. Sexual desire and enjoyment are likely to decrease. The new partner might also change from being new and exciting to being the same old/ boring with decreased interest.

An open marriage might seem to be lucrative when it comes to the acceptance of multiple partners involved, novelty, and more sexual satisfaction, but it doesn’t allow the true bliss of marriage that has deeper emotional intimacy, unconditional love, and support. It is in everyone’s better interest to develop an intimate relationship in a socially acceptable manner, which will provide emotional, mental, and physical companionship in an acceptable manner.

“Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.” – Harville Hendrix

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