13 Signs a Man is Unhappy in Marriage

13 Signs a Man is Unhappy in Marriage

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Marriage is a partnership between two people that runs on love, trust, understanding, communication and intimacy. If a person is happy in their marriage, you can see and tell just by the way they look at their partner with love, touch them with affection and care for them but if a person is unhappy in marriage then there are a few signs that will help you know that if you notice.

The reason behind a man being unhappy in marriage could be anything, e.g. he is not in love with you anymore, he started liking/loving someone else, he has found his happiness alone, he was not invested emotionally in this marriage from the first day and got married out of parent’s/family’s happiness, he was in love with someone else when he married you and so on.

How to deal with man unhappy in marriage

When a man starts getting emotionally distant, you can’t tell by his actions in the beginning. He may have gone away from you, yet he will be able to act to be emotionally attached to you. Not only this, When a man distants emotionally, the people around you get to know about it before you.

If you want to save your marriage it’s very important to have a knowledge of a few signs that can be observed in a man to understand that he is unhappy in the marriage. It’s better to know early if you want to save your marriage.

Below, a few signs are mentioned that are generally observed in a man when he is unhappy in his marriage.

13 Signs a man is unhappy in his marriage:

1. Negative Impact on Sex-life

Physical intimacy plays a big role in a relationship but it doesn’t mean it is everything in a relationship. Still it tells a lot about a relationship between a couple. Physical intimacy is something that comes automatically as a bonus in a romantic relationship/marriage if both the partners are happy together. If you are noticing a decline in your sex-life then it is one of the warning sighs to get alert. There are many reasons a man’s libido can get affected and being unhappy in the marriage is one of them. Every married couple has a different frequency of sex but if the frequency has declined on it’s own without any other reason then it is a matter of concern.

Negative impact on sex life

2. Not Spending Time with You

Has your husband’s late night work and business trips increased? Does he make plans on weekends that don’t involve you? The man who used to find ways to spend time with you is now finding ways to keep himself busy in some other activities. When a man starts to exclude you from the events in which you were a part some time back and now his friends or colleagues have taken that place of yours then it is a more evident sign that he doesn’t want to spend time with you and somewhere it is evident that he is unhappy with you. In any marriage, spending quality time together is very important as it helps to strengthen the pillar of your relationship.

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Husband not spending time with you

3. Not Talking about Future with You

When you see a happy married couple, you often find them talking about their future vacations or planning their after retirement life in the hills or beach house. But if your husband avoids talking about the future or if you are not a part of his future planning then it’s a red flag for your marriage. He is not involving you in future plans because he is not sure about you and doesn’t see a future with you anymore.

4. Changed Body Language

Men may try their best to not show what’s going on in their head but it’s quite visible in their actions. If a man is unhappy in marriage, you can notice a change in his behavior. The way he looks at you now is not the same as he used to look at you in the beginning phase of your marriage. He avoids physical intimacy, eye contact and many times he even tries to ignore that you are in the same room with him. The surprise back hugs and kisses are history now. He is not affectionate or inviting as he used to be earlier.

Husband changed body language due to Unhappy in Marriage

5. Losing Temper around You

When a man is overthinking it results in stress that follows a feeling of irritability and aggression. Where there was a time when you used to share anything and everything with him without even thinking twice, now you have to think before speaking to him because he loses his temper more often. When a man is unhappy in his marriage, the irritability and aggressiveness is another sign to look for. And interestingly, the temper is not for everyone, it’s specifically for the wife.

6. Not sharing about his day with you anymore

When a man is unhappy in marriage he starts to avoid telling you about his day to day activities. Earlier you used to talk to each other about everything you did the whole day and about how your day went but now you only talk about normal house chores. The reasons behind this could be because he doesn’t feel that much attached to you anymore and he has distanced himself from you emotionally.

7. Spending Time with Objects/Equipments/Social Media

If a man starts to spend most of his time with an object such as his bike, or he has started spending most of his time playing his music instrument which was just a hobby earlier, or he is spending a lot of time scrolling through social media, which is leaving you sidelined from him life then there is a sign that he is ignoring you. This type of behavior is known as escapism used by a person to avoid something they don’t want to face and it is commonly used by men when they are unhappy in their marriage.

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Husband spending time with social media

8. He Feels he is not Enough for You

Sometimes if a person has low self-esteem he may think that he is not good enough for you and it’s nothing to do with the quality of the relationship or his love towards you. Instead, he doubts himself for not being worthy enough to get the love and attention he is receiving. He might think that he is not capable of making you happy and loving you the way you need to be loved and this feeling make him unhappy.

He may start to have a negative outlook towards himself and they continue to stay in the relationship because they believe they are not worthy of more. They are not very vocal about their issue that affects them and not addressing the issue makes it difficult to understand. A man with low self esteem feels unhappy with his accomplishments and they face problems accepting failures as well. This creates a hostile behavior in them that creates a negative impact on his marriage and result into unhappy marriage.

9. He often makes fun about the marriage

Sometimes you might have heard husbands joking about their wife or their marriage but when the jokes get more frequent than usual then it might not be a joke instead it could be the actual truth the husband is hiding from the wife. When a man starts to tell other bachelor boys to stay away from marriage and marriage is like a trap or jokes about going alone somewhere where his wife can’t reach him, it is a sign that he feels more at peace and happy when he is away from her wife. These types of jokes and talks might hurt you and you often try to ignore it but even if it gets awkward to talk about it it’s better to sit and talk clearly about it. Talking about it might give you a clear picture whether he is happy or unhappy in the marriage.

Man with low self esteem feels unhappy

10. He may have stopped taking care of himself 

The guy who used to go jogging and gym daily just to stay fit for you, now doesn’t even go near his workout kit. He is not taking a healthy diet as he used to before as well. If a man is happy in his relationship he constantly works towards being a better version of himself for his wife. When a man stops taking care of his physical body as he used to then it’s a sign that he is not feeling motivated enough to work on himself and that could be because he is unhappy in the marriage.

11. Content shared on social media says it all

In today’s life social media has become an extension of life for us. We often find ourselves sharing stories and posts about our morning routine, or a special event like birthdays or anniversaries, or small details about our daily life on social media. If you are noticing that you have stopped being visible on his social media posts or stories as you used to be then it is a warning sign that he is unhappy. 

12. All he can think about is this

A man might not say it out loud but you often notice him lost in thoughts or comparing his life to a single’s life constantly. This can result in overthinking and a negative outlook towards the marriage. We can’t tell the exact reasons behind a man’s unhappiness in his marriage but if he’s unhappy in his marriage then he starts to question spending his future life with you and this can create stress in your married life. The more he indulges in overthinking the worst your married life can become. If you want your marriage to work, you need to pull him out from his overthinking and talk to him about it. 

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13. He is not exactly the way he was earlier

It’s very obvious that when a man is unhappy in a marriage he feels trapped in it, he won’t seem happy or lively or smiling more often. You may find him living in his own space. It’s normal for boys to ask for space of their own but if that space is getting more than usual and it comes with all the other mentioned signs of being unhappy in marriage then it is a matter of concern. If marriage is not going smoothly then it indeed impacts your peace and life.

Husband change due to unhappy in marriage

What can a wife do if she finds his man unhappy in marriage?

I assume if you have come to this part of the article then you are concerned about your married life and you want your husband to  get involved and be happy as much as you are. Here are some ways mentioned that will help you to take the first step to reconnect with your unhappy husband:

  • Sit and do ‘the talk’ honestly: The best way to resolve any issue is to talk about it freely, openly, empathetically and honestly. Talk to your husband about the issues, ask him if he is happy or unhappy and give him space to talk and you listen to him patiently without interrupting him. 
  • Try to figure out where the problem lies: When you provide a safe space for your man to talk, it will open a doorway to a better place. You both will find yourself discussing the problems and his reasons of being unhappy more openly and you can work together on finding the root cause of the issues that are impacting your marriage.
  • Try to find ways to resolve the problem: Once you both find the root cause of the problem you both can work towards finding the solution and working as a team can spark the lost bond that you had in your marriage and can help in reviving your love.
  • Think and decide if the marriage is with the save: After communicating with each other you’ll know the current status of your marriage and is it worth the save or not. Sometimes people choose to stay away for a while and give some space and time to each other and get back together if everything gets back to normal but some people choose to end the marriage if it is in their best interest. Being optimistic is good in such cases but being aware and preparing yourself for the worst case scenario is equally important. 
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