We can all say some pretty crappy things to our partners in the heat of the moment. While most people understand that you were just angry and didn’t mean it, some phrases can have a significant negative impact on your relationship.
In many pieces of research, it was found that just some statements said by a partner have proven to be a disaster. Relationship counsellors have advised a few phrases that should always be avoided in a relationship.
In most cases, partners have to take assistance through online counselling to make their relationship work. Relationship counselling has proven to fill the gap between two partners.
Let’s make sure that you never reach a situation where help is needed to maintain your relationship. Hence, we have made a list of 10 things that you should never say to your partner.
1. I’m No Longer Attracted To You.
This one is difficult for people to overcome, even if it was not intended. “We humans have a difficult time hearing that we are unattractive and then believing that our partner didn’t mean it. It can seriously sever the intimacy between two partners, and it is difficult to repair.
2. I Wish Things Were How They Used To Be.
When we’re going through a rough patch or a difficult time, we tend to remember the best times when there was nothing but love and laughter. We cannot relive or recreate the past, so statements like this are never helpful. It also fosters a sense of longing, yearning, and wishful thinking, which diminishes the positive aspects of the current relationship while corrupting and limiting its future growth.
3. You’re So Boring.
This one is not only mean, but anyone who has heard it knows that being called boring is the greatest knife to the heart. This is a very unloving and harsh statement, and nothing good can come from it. This type of negative criticism, comparison, or judgment will always cause harmful separation and division in a relationship.
4. Why Do You Never Listen To Me?
It may appear that your partner never listens, but this is one of the least helpful things to say. “This type of limiting statement is typically made in a long-term relationship where the importance of healthy two-way communication is overlooked or dismissed. Repeating this statement repeatedly, whether in a more emotional or aggressive tone, will never work.”
5. You’re So Selfish.
When you don’t feel like you’re being heard, it’s easy for things to slip out of your mouth. This is a critical and judgmental statement that attacks the person rather than their actions and will cause separation and disconnection within a relationship. This type of statement is frequently made in the heat of the moment, but beware: it will shut down helpful communication and will be extremely difficult to reverse the damage.
6. I Hate You.
Don’t let the H-word slip out, even if you don’t mean it. “It’s easy to lash out and say hurtful things when you’re upset. Expressing hatred towards your partner, on the other hand, is one of the most hurtful things you can say. It is not something your partner will easily forget, and it has the potential to poison the relationship.
7. I Don’t Have The Time.
Nothing is more painful than being ignored. So be aware of any words, such as “I don’t have the time,” that may sound as if you’re trying to dismiss your partner. This also demonstrates that you are unconcerned about your partner’s needs and may make them feel unimportant. If you truly don’t have time, figure out the best time when both of you can sit down and talk.
8. Calm Down.
This discussion will take place on my terms. When you tell your spouse to “relax,” you are also telling them that you are incapable of handling their emotions. Anger is frightening to those of us with conflict-avoidant personalities. You should immediately put a stop to it, and a healthy conflict resolution means acknowledging all emotions. We need to hear our partner’s true feelings without forcing him or her to speak through us.
9. it’s Your Fault.
It is pointless and useless to blame each other. It only leads to more anger and rage. Instead, you should always consider your contribution to the problem. Also, instead of assigning blame, ask your partner directly what you want him/her to do differently. Find ways to say things differently so that the blame game does not start.
10. Anybody Can Do What You Do
Disregarding your partner’s efforts, accomplishments, or interests reflects more on you than on them. The goal of any healthy partnership is mutual support and helping each other to rise, rather than tearing each other down. It’s okay if you don’t understand what your partner does or their interests. You don’t have to share everything – in fact, its better if you don’t. But be appreciative of what your partner does.
Where Do You Get The Best Relationship Counsellor?
With OnlineCounselling4U you get the best relationship counsellor who can help you deal with the failure of love and bring about positive changes in your relationship. The counsellors provide counselling as a way for you to explore positive changes in your relationship. You can contact our trained relationship counsellors 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year via phone, chat, or email. If you wish you can speak completely anonymously about any personal matter concerning your relationship to any of our relationship counsellors in the language of your choice.
Can Counseling Fix A Relationship?
Counselling does wonders in fixing relationships. Many couples struggling have taken benefit from counselling and were able to bring back the love between them.
How Do I Fix My Broken Relationship?
The best way is to talk it out. Sit and clear all the misunderstandings with each other. If that does not work, take the help of professionals who are well versed in solving relationship problems.
When Should You See A Relationship Counselor?
There are many signs that you get each day, these signs are enough for you to know that you need help. It can be negative communication, lacking intimacy, lying, having arguments, etc.