9 Common Reasons People Cheat In Relationships

“Cheating doesn’t come from lack of love, but lack of respect”

One time, I received a call from a woman who was inconsolable and crying. I repeatedly asked her and she confessed, that her husband was cheating. I suggested the couple for a Couple Counseling session. The couple met up for the session. The couple was in their 30s and had a young child.

During our conversation, I discovered a few things that were not said. Cheat in relationships can happen for many reasons. It’s sad when a relationship that started on a love note turns into a cheating relationship. The couple began to reveal other layers. They stopped communicating with one another and were storing up negative emotions. The couple lost their love and eventually, the man began to fall in love with another woman. This was how cheating began in their relationship.

It can be very distressing to discover that your partner has cheated. It is possible to feel hurt, betrayed, or even physically ill. You may feel betrayed, enraged, unhappy, or even physically ill. But you might also be asking, “Why?” Why would someone they loved unconditionally and trusted betray them so painfully? There is often a feeling of betrayal, low self-worth, anger, and bewilderment as well as a feeling of total disbelief.

Cheating is not part of a healthy relationship. Cheating is against all that a relationship stands up for. Though the person cheating is somewhere aware that the spouse will figure out the cheating, still they continue to cheat.

9 Common Reasons People Cheat In Relationships

By OnlineCounselling4U Team

Statistics on cheating

This topic was the subject of research in 2017 trust source study published in The Journal of Sex Research. This study asked 495 people about their reasons for infidelity in an online survey.

As per statistics, 259 women and 213 men were among the participants, as well as 23 non-suffering people.

They were:

• 87.9% of respondents were heterosexuals
• Mostly young adults (average age 20)
• Not necessarily in a relationship (51.8 percent said they were in a romantic relationship).

Why do people cheat in relationships?

There are many reasons people cheat, but these few common themes come up in counseling sessions. These suggestions can help you understand why someone cheats in relationships if you are having difficulty understanding why. Experts and psychologists agree that the following are the main reasons people cheat in relationships.

1. Lack of effective communication

Cheating is when you feel like your relationship has drifted apart. Cheating can be a way to get something exciting and new in a relationship that has become routine. One may feel disengaged from their relationship for a variety of reasons. It could be that communication is not working. This could mean that you are not communicating with your partner. Or, perhaps your life has been so busy with work or caring for children, that you have lost touch with the people you love.

2. Loveless relationship

Counseling uses the term “love languages” to describe how people express their affection for each other. While some couples prefer to show affection by kissing and cuddling, others prefer to communicate their love verbally through beautiful words. Couples stop expressing their love towards each other after some years of marriage. They take each other for granted This makes the relationship dry and love less.

3. Not ready to work on the relationship

One of the major issues is that many couples are not ready to invest their time and energy in their relationship. it is all bout rejuvenating the lost love, reigniting the lost fire. After some time the luster is lost in any relationship. hence one has to work hard to bring it back otherwise there has a high possibility of cheating on each other.

4. Lack of commitment

Some are avoidant of a committed relationship, as the commitments and the adjustments to accustom to each other make the other partner feel uncomfortable. Hence not being committed leads to insecurity issues and fights. However, concerns about commitment can lead to a lot of instability. As a way to avoid feeling responsible, people can either consciously or inadvertently destroy the present relationship.

5. Low self-esteem and high ego

This is one of the major reasons for breakups and cheating. A person with this condition will always binge on attention from the partner. In the lack of which the ego is not satisfied the person looks for options out of the relationship. Sometimes, personal insecurity can lead to affairs or cheating. People can become dependent on others’ attention, and always derive pleasure and feel falsely secured, loved, or say attracted to the opposite sex on getting the desired attention.

In some cases, it is impossible to have enough attention from one person. This can also lead to insecurity in a relationship.

6. Sexual addictions

Sexually addictive behaviors are often linked to difficulties in relationships. It is when someone engages in sexual activity regularly to satisfy their cravings or relieve negative emotions. Compulsive sexual behavior can lead to an addiction, similar to a drug or alcohol addiction. This could mean that you have multiple relationships or are involved in affairs regularly. Sex is often a key component of a happy relationship. Even if the couple is well-matched, a person can still be interested in trying out sex they aren’t familiar with. Such an addiction leads to infidelity.

7. Seeking Variety

Seeking different communication styles and discussions, various non-sexual pursuits, attraction to other people, having previous relationships in addition to their current partner, sexual fantasies, etc. too is a major precursor for cheating in a relationship.

8. Unhappy relationship

One might not cheat if only one or two of these factors was at play. Cheating can be made more likely by the combination of motivating factors, such as distance from your partner, unhappy marriage, unhappy relationship majorly playing a key role, worries about your attractiveness, and extra attention from your coworker.

9. Other reasons for cheating

Infidelity can occur even in a happy, fulfilling relationship the reasons could be many. Unwanted temptations, some wrong decisions due to addictions or illicit attractions, fantasies like one-night stands, etc.

Cheaters often love their partners and have no desire to hurt them. Some people will go to great lengths to hide their infidelity from their partner. It can still cause serious damage to a relationship. Although cheating does not have to be the end of a relationship it is important to move on.

If your partner cheats, you may still be feeling the effects of being cheated upon. It’s possible to want to fix the relationship. You might decide to end the relationship.

Start here if you’re not sure how to deal with the situation.

• Talk to your partner about the situation. Talk to. It may be helpful to find out the motivations of your partner, but it is best not to get into the details.
• Ask your partner if they are open to continuing the relationship. It’s common for people to cheat out of a desire to end a relationship.
• Ask yourself if your partner is trustworthy again. Trust can take time, and your partner will probably be aware of this fact. However, if you are certain that you cannot trust your partner again, it is unlikely you will be able to restore the relationship.
• Do you still want to be in a relationship? Are you truly in love with your partner? Do you want to address any underlying issues? Are you scared to start a new relationship? Are you positive that the relationship can be fixed? Just give these a thought before taking a call.
• Talk to a counselor. If you are looking to improve your relationship after infidelity, couples counseling is highly recommended. However, individual therapy can help you deal with your emotions and feelings about the situation if you have cheated on your partner.
• It’s important to examine your motives and have an open conversation with your partner if you’ve cheated. You need to understand that your partner may not be interested in repairing the relationship and you should respect their decision.

Consider the following before taking a final call :

• Are you still interested in the relationship?
• Do you intend to end the relationship?
• Are you and your partner ready to consult a therapist?
• What if your partner isn’t interested or unavailable for communication?
• Are you able to work out the causes of your infidelity?

Couples therapy, individual therapy, and improved communication can all be used to improve relationships and reduce the likelihood of future infidelity. You might be able to talk to your partner about cheating rather than doing it.

Individual therapy is a great option for couples who have cheated. Couples therapy is also a great way to help your partner and you rebuild your relationship. If you are serious about getting things back on track after an affair, both of these therapies are highly recommended.

The bottom line

As the saying goes, “once a cheater is always a cheater”, it’s hard to trust a partner who has cheated on you. The person who cheated on their spouse must work harder to regain trust and confidence.

Sometimes it is worth giving the wounded some time and space.

Sometimes, a relationship is strengthened by working through infidelity. It is important for you and your partner that you are open about your feelings and communicate with each other.

Get Relationship Counselling Help at OnlineCounselling4U

If you are looking to improve your relationship with someone who has committed adultery, individual therapy may be a good option. If you are looking to improve your relationship after an affair, couples counseling is highly recommended.

OnlineCounselling4U offers the best in couple counseling. Our counselors are not judgmental and can handle even the most complex cases. You can access our online counseling services from the comfort of your own home. We respect your privacy and provide the best online counseling. We are experts in the field and will be there to help you. As it is rightly said.

“Cheating is a choice, not a mistake”

Call us to book a session today.

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