Once the relationship is in full swing, it is easy to succumb to jealousy and be threatened by your partner. This is self-contradictory, but sometimes you can’t help but feel the threat from the person you love. It becomes hard sometimes to not compare yourself with your partner. A lot of relationship counsellors suggest that comparison with partner should totally be avoided for a healthy relationship.
You may wonder how and why we make ourselves feel so threatened in love. But sometimes you cannot stop yourself from comparing your partner and yourselves.
You are so much in awe with your partner or your partner seems so perfect to you that you start feeling low in life. But is comparison really that bad? Does it take you away from your partner?
Doesn’t comparison inspire you to be a better person? Let’s find out.
Why Comparison Is Bad And How It Should Be Avoided
Check Your Activities
Get advice from those tech leaders and as they say limit your time online. Pay attention to how the time you spend online affects your emotions, behavior, and beliefs.
If you find more negative effects in any of these areas during or after using the content online, please decide to replace it with other activities. Instead of going online, try going into your backyard, checking your mailbox, or calling your spouse or family.
Ask yourself: What can I trade for my time on social media to bring me happiness? As social media might be one of the reasons you are comparing yourself with your partner just be aware that these social media standards are not real.
Logically, we know that we are all different. We all have our own battle. We know that every perfect person on social media may be struggling every day.
However, seeing someone else’s perfect whitewashed living room, Partner and child playing on the floor like angels, exaggerates how our lives are different. This creates an image in our mind that our lives are not perfect like them.
Remember, there are certain moments in your life that if others see it, they will think it is perfect. In your life, no matter how big or small, there are blessings you must remember. Be grateful for what you have, rather than envy others’ lives.
If you plan to spend some time alone, use this time to celebrate yourself, your marriage, your life, your love, and your children. Have positive information about yourself and your partner.
Your marriage will benefit greatly from sharing small victories, celebrations, and positive events of the day with each other. It’s easy to take out the frustration of the day to your partner, which can start to effect communication and respect in your relationship. Remember what happened every day or every week and celebrate it with your spouse.
Realize that you are not perfect.
There will always be someone richer, smarter, and more attractive than you. Nobody is perfect. Striving to be perfect is not the solution. Therefore, rather than being delayed by your flaws, quirks, and imperfections, it is better to accept it completely. Accept the fact that you are completely imperfect and so set yourself free.
Turn comparison into inspiration.
We tend to compare ourselves behind the scenes with other important moments. We tend to focus on other’s success, rather than the thousands of hours you spend preparing and working towards success. Instead of letting your partner’s victories disappoint you, let them open the door for you. Take those victories as an inspirations that you can be, do and have in your life. If you are not able to stop the comparison between you and your partner it is time you knock the door of a relationship counsellor.
Should You Compare Your Partner To Other People?
Comparing your partner to other’s partner will seriously damage your relationship. If you are “jokingly” falling for another man or woman and find that yours is not good enough, this topic is not really a joke. It can make your husband/wife think he/she is not perfect for you.
Look at it this way. How would you feel if your husband/wife and his friends posted photos of some other women//men on your partner’s timeline? Are you going to feel embarrassed? Humiliation? Underrated? Or dissatisfied?
If you know your partner fully, you will know where his weakness is. You can use it as a weapon against him, or you can use it to create more love. Choice is yours. Some “harmless” attention to your weaknesses and vulnerabilities can make you feel violated, defensive, or ashamed. So make sure to stop comparing your partner with anyone.
How to Start Enriching Your Relationship?
Comparing ourselves to others often makes us feel frustrated, and anxious. We are unable to move on. Creating the life we want is not possible at all. On the contrary, it will only take up precious time and energy that could have been used to build our future. When you focus on what others have but you don’t, you give up your power. Every minute of comparing your path with the path of others is wasted creating your own future.
So, take back your power from all the people, places, and situations where you left it, and take it home. Decide that your energy will be used to believe, not doubt, and create, not destroy. Focus on you. Focus on positives when these thoughts come, (ADD coma) start doing something that you love and makes you happy. Focus on being the best version of yourself and sharing it with the rest of the people around you.
If you are stuck in a Partner comparison cycle, a marriage therapist or relationship therapist can help. Your counselor can help you find the root cause that makes you feel the need to make your partner meet the standards of others.
Will The Relationship Counsellor Help You In Stopping The Comparison Game?
Marriage therapists or relationship counsellors can also provide couples with trusted relationship advice to establish intimacy, improve communication, and conflict resolution skills.
At OnlineCounselling4U Interact with experienced and certified relationship consultants. The counselors can provide online counselling services 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. At OnlineCounsseling4U, you can find solutions for any type of mental illness. You can contact any psychologist you want by phone, chat, video call, or email. The consultant communicates with the client the way they want to. So, get in touch today to get the best relationship counselling.